The Lost Links

This is one of the blogs that I had been longing to write for a week now. Somehow I couldn't afford to sleep over it. I would like to start it from the dream that we all pledged when we were young and in school .Every one has a dream that they chase along to find a meaning for life. This dream is so fragile that many of us deviate from our plans as we move along the various walks of life. Fine. That is the way life brings intricacies as a form of battle to be fought for a win-win result. Now, if at all we chase our bubbly dreams, how well we position ourselves to shape the dream is a toughest question that we need to answer. For example, in school many of us had a dream to get into a good graduate school or a University. I assume, if we had this dream,we should probably think about the future of that dream in terms of longevity that we extend to that particular choice of career. At college, you would have probably wanted to escalate to a salaried position.  And when you hit job, you would seek and work towards a hike in salary or grade. Not of all of us had the courage to even dream of what we want to be in five years at school. The question is why didn't we dare to dream?. Answer is simple, at least in my case. Home. We weren't taught to dream. This might sound less pragmatic, but that was the truth. Fine. At school, we were asked to share our dreams with every one in the class, perhaps the question came from our teacher. But for what?. Nothing other than to wake the students from boredom of lecturing. Is this acceptable?. Can the power of dream be underestimated or overlooked?.Can a school in India, obviously the burgeoning super power, especially in education sector afford to engage in trivial questioning sessions when they are otherwise ought to produce valuable inquiries. Honestly, this isn't a toy story. This is serious business. And I am sure, not every one of us stand by the first dream ever, until the end. Fair enough. Always I had a feeling as a child that dreams don't drive you towards the life that you could accept and hug forever. Meaning, they pose many constraints. Three are the most influential things that I have understood and tried to quantify, when you dare to dream. Time, Money and love. You have to believe me, I am writing this through the product of my own experience in the past. And I am sure I was a loser when it came to execution of my own conscience. I didn't have a dream in first place. Fine. If I had able to propose a sincere dream plan, I would have said "I want to become a Cricketer, a batsman". This wasn't a silly dream. This dream penetrated in me, as a product of my passion I had for cricket, when I was in school.  A lot of Indians know the world of cricket. The first question I would like to ask myself is that "Do you have time to practice the sport?". Yes. I had lot of time, once I was back from school. A small story. My parents are a hard-working couple and they always wanted to see me as a well-taught individual with a career floating with a few degrees. They too liked cricket, but they wouldn't want their son to choose sport as a profession. Reasons. My father didn't want to spend 500 Rupees a month for coaching and nets. They thought they weren't able to see their son, reflecting through a sporty glass. Parent's love for me, spoiled my dream of being a batsman. But I knew in the bottom of my heart that this passion can never die. So when my mom said "Cricket is not a career for you, you should dream something that we could afford", I thought money also stifle one's dream. Love, obviously give challenges during the decision making times and not to forget it's ability to make things complicated on a broader sense as well. Now after a few years, I know that I had to succumb to the twists and turns. Eventually, every one will. But these underlying passions are significant residues in everyone's life. They are always there, staying at the bottom, staring at you. And you know that you are capable enough to ensconce these subtle indications of life. "I believe the beauty of love and aggression is that they make us tolerant and prudent. Most important, they strive to inculcate an ability to deal with them.They welcome you anytime with an invitation. Accessible and a cover against a rain of dilemmas". I would say if you feel that you have traveled faraway from the road, that you wanted or the one you should have taken, for good,  don't feel separated at any point of time. "There is always a chance to love, cry and fight for your own life". If you are reluctant to fight for your own dreams, you shall be forced by life itself. Terrible as it might sound, without passion you almost succeed to embrace faint-acceptance and self-denial. But this coercion can be painful. Rather create a battle field of your own. There are more opportunities to catch up with your own interests at a soothing level. The dynamics of pursuing these interests bestow us a new vision, a new dream and a new life ahead. "This moment always, is as good as it sounded a few hours ago. Time becomes a destitute of your thoughts, when you listen to your inner voice."  Keep listening to them until you become less freaky.                                 

A QUESTION & A KISS

Mobile phone was silently whisking my table-top drawer. Too tired to stretch my hands, I reached to grab it between my fingers. Laziness, a by-product of body and bed, I thought. Phone's dash board displayed the message.

Martyn Hemmings

1 message

I opened my in box to read it. It said "Sud, If you fancy a pint in Kenilworth 2nite to c sarah off, b4 she goes to Spain, I can tak us & bring us back, am leaving at 8.00 p.m. fm martyn." The message was from my apartment owner, Martyn. He should be well above in his fifties. Obese, a chain-smoker and fanatic of chilled beer and chat. Its been just over a month in my new house, where I find myself to succumb to the fancies of life. I moved in single, in this deluxe apartment to live with other flat mates, whom I would say, still I barely know them, regardless of a month-long stay. Partly because Mat, a night-club manager spends all his day in front of x-box, Chris, Who just wouldn't give himself time to breath, while he talks, Sylvie, works in the university as a researcher in Molecular biology, and Anjjy, a German born, U.S Consultant spending her contract time here in Warwick ,working hard for her baguette and tropical juice, as part of her breakfast every morning. Now wait a minute. I forgot to talk about Sarah, the name you are familiar now, after reading that message from Martyn. Sarah, was working as a chief-chef in a hotel in Kenilworth, a classy little English town about a mile and a half from our place. I would have spoken roughly ten lines with her, after I moved in. Kind, smart and witty, she was working in nights, shift-based and looked exactly like a doll, in her outfit. Occasionally, she would bring her sister and boy friend to her room and watch serials to get herself a break during week ends. Honestly, in this room nobody cares, if you bring some one for a night, until you don't moan or scream and appear to have a child kicked off in a few months. She moved out about a couple of weeks back from our house. Martyn, our home-daily give us updates on every one while he cleans our utensils and empties our bin. Martyn is a wonderful person to be a property manager, with his people skills that he uses to invite people to move into his apartments. I remember what exactly he said after describing about his rental apartments. He said, "You should be a stupid, to not accept this offer." I was shocked to hear aloud his candid statement. Well, he meant the logic of my "Yes" or "No" to his offer, I hope. "My son is a stupid to not accept my offer", he added. I was relieved. "Alright Sud (that is the way he calls me), leave that brat." When are you moving in? He asked. I said in a couple of weeks and moved in finally. It has been a wonderful time, since then. Sarah again. Mat, Chris, Anjjy and Sylvie know Sarah well than I knew, which just triggered a question in my mind about should I really bother to attend the send-off, amidst my dissertation on a freaky theory in tribology. I was hungry about 6.00 in the evening and so went down to grab a pack of crisps and a cup of tea. Matt, was pressing his clothes, and Martyn, aloud in his ancient Nokia mobile, talking to Rachel, his sister in Northampton. I grabbed crisps and Martyn came to the living room and told, "alright guys, see you at about 8.00". I went quizzical. I asked Matt, "Are you going?". He replied, "We are Sud.". I just didn't want to say anything and went upstairs to shower and shoe up. All set, Martyn briefed on the plan. We went to pick Sarah from her place, in downtown Coventry. Benz, C 200 was our car, probably they are not in sale any more in any part of the world. Well, I don't have one yet. So I will have to be modest here. 6 of us in the car, almost anticipating a ticket from the cop-man, we headed to Kenilworth. "Queen & Castle", a restaurant chain with a pub, was where Sarah was working as a chef. Mood-lighting, few friends and colleagues already were in the song of getting satiated. As part of the social convention, on behalf of our house, Martyn gave the present and a card addressed to "Sweet little Sarah". She was happy. Martyn said "Everything is on me". Well I thought, what can I have that would possibly satisfy my tummy needs. "Nothing" was the answer. Finally went with 2 pints of Carling, served in the traditional pint glass. Sarah introduced every one of us to Managers and staff of the hotel, who were going to miss Sarah like every one of us. We were chatting. It wouldn't have stopped, if I had not intervened to ask Sarah, about her plans in Spain. She said she is going to meet her mother in Barcelona, and expressed that her mother badly wanted to spend time with her. Understood. And she was very happy and without any hesitation, she just hugged me and gave a kiss on my chin and started to kiss every one around, including Martyn, who just couldn't bend down as his waist was a skinny-wall built with beer, offering defense. It was over. The emotions. We wished "good luck in Spain" to Sarah and came out of "Queen & Castle". Martyn started his Car, with every one around with a vague disposition to converse, Martyn started. "It was a  lumpy kiss wasn't it Sud?." I said "Oh Yaah". "Have you been kissed like that before?", he added. I smiled and said "Yes", "But it was special, Martyn", I added. Martyn replied "It was that question you raised Sud.". It all went black, very much after that. I couldn't understand his statement yesterday. May be because there was "Carling" crawling inside me. But today as I type this, I know pretty well that "a question can answer a lot of things than the answer itself." All along people roam about without realizing the fact that they all have a purpose in this world. And that purpose is the same for many of us. "Love." She is not going to work as long as an year from now. But she needs some one who loves her unconditionally. Her "mother". It is 19.56 in my clock. I will have to take a shower to become less philosophical.